It took awhile but eventually your spouse confessed that they were cheating on you. The news hit you like a ton of bricks. You had no inkling that something like this was happening and in all honesty that’s how it should be. You did not tie the knot with this person so you could spend the majority of your time checking up on them. Just like you they stood in front of friends and family and promised to be true.

Now the real truth emerges that they have not been honoring their part of the marriage contract. Your spouse is adamant with their apology as well as asking you to please forgive them. They also promise to do everything in their power to rebuild the trust they destroyed.

At this time you have several things to decide not the least of which is do you (and your spouse) want to continue the marital relationship. However to make it through this extramarital relationship there are several things you must stay clear of.

1. Giving Up Your Self-Esteem

What your spouse has done was appalling not to mention wounded you deeply. However do not let them ruin your integrity by going to pieces.

They deserve a lot of things however shattering you beyond repair is not on the list. Pray for the toughness you know is within you. That does not imply you can’t have a good cry at some point but do not give your spouse the satisfaction of doing away with your personal self-esteem.

2. The Refusal To Let Go

It’s It is more than okay to ask yourself why your spouse did what they did. It is another thing entirely to hold on to it. Your significant other has been unfaithful and no matter what you tell yourself there comes a time when you must embrace that simple fact. All too often the sufferer of cheating attempts to persuade themselves it’s just a terrible dream and everything will eventually go back to normal. It will not and the only way to begin the recovery process is to acknowledge that basic reality.

3. Not Considering The Next Move

You will need time to digest this kind of shocking news but the truth is you also have to take a look at some of the options. You cannot walk around in a state of confusion for the rest of your life. Eventually you are going to have to determine not only about the future of the marriage but how you plan to move forward with your life.

4. Allowing Other Individuals To Make Your Decision

You can ask for counsel from your own social circle of family and friends along with an audience to vent. The error is allowing these people to make up your mind for you. That’s a cop out. Yes they may have your best interest in mind but in all honesty it is up to you to make the tough choices concerning your life. Allowing other people to make a decision could put you in a place you don’t wish to be and will in the long term cause you to feel a whole lot worse than you already do.

5. Consuming You In Pity

Most of us at some point feel sorry for what has been done to us but remaining in self-pity isn’t going to help you in any way shape or form. There comes a moment when you must deal with what happened and put an end to feeling sorry for yourself. Self-pity does not change the simple fact your mate cheated. Wallowing in it only delays your healing process.

6. Facing The Person Your Mate Had An Affair With

It could provide you with a bit of short term pleasure but in essence it’s useless. Are they at fault? Without a doubt but the lion’s share of the blame belongs to your two timing spouse. If not this person it would have been someone else therefore do not spend your time fighting someone who is certainly not worth your while.

7. Turning Violent

There was a story in the news about a lady who got in her car and drove a considerable distance in order to kill her husband’s mistress. That is definitely beyond asinine. So now the woman is probably going to the penitentiary for the rest of her life and her two timing husband will just go out and hook up with someone else.

Neither your mate nor the person they had an affair with is worth your freedom. Cry, holler and if you have to break some plates down on the floor but don’t get violent no matter what. Be careful not to permit your mate’s selfishness lead you to do something that will destroy your future irreversibly.

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